The inspiring month finally came
Hello, June!
Long time no post(?) Well, I've been fighting through a lot of pressure for the past few weeks......... yes, on my favorite month.
Yeah, May has been the month of the year, though i didn't even get past half of 2013 yet. But still, it's actually where (or when, in this case) I've been kinda... emotional.
Mocked by a teacher, slapped by bad scores, surprised by THE FINAL EXAM IS ON MONDAY which i never knew, dumped by a friend, laughed by my empty wallet (well, i didn't actually laughed. But it's kinda funny when it was my birthday and the next day i got tons of things to buy or tons of things to pay) insisted to get ready for goodbyes...
Wait! Let me take the part where i had no money back. NO MONEY NOT FUNNY.
Okay I'm cool. Now, about all these tension and pressure and emotion and whatever the situation is, i had no idea how i stayed calm. Okay, not calm. Okay not calm at all. But i wasn't mad at anything now! Hoooooowwwwww is that possible?
Sometimes, I'm mad at myself 'cause i couldn't stay mad, no matter how hard i try. I just got stressed, and then I'd hide somewhere, and then cursed everything that's happening at the moment. Especially society.
And then what? And then I'll be like:
Well, I'm good that i knew my negative turned into positive and i knew i shouldn't make anything worse. But everything's creeping me out man! Those 9 grades at school, the pile of books for the final exam, and the days counting down to where i must leave my class...
It was a very bad class with horrible classmates and a totally lonely seat where i sit with no one...
And i was very thankful of it! Now i know it was a very great class with awesome classmates and a totally nice seat where i change deskmates everyday...
The point is, i don't wanna start all over again. The entire year of grade 8 had thought me a lot. Responsibility, trust, emotion-handling, how to be independent on sudden situations, money & time arrangements, caring after siblings, targeting things and work hard for it...
And now I'm 14. Am I ready for the last grade on junior high school?
Long time no post(?) Well, I've been fighting through a lot of pressure for the past few weeks......... yes, on my favorite month.
Yeah, May has been the month of the year, though i didn't even get past half of 2013 yet. But still, it's actually where (or when, in this case) I've been kinda... emotional.
Mocked by a teacher, slapped by bad scores, surprised by THE FINAL EXAM IS ON MONDAY which i never knew, dumped by a friend, laughed by my empty wallet (well, i didn't actually laughed. But it's kinda funny when it was my birthday and the next day i got tons of things to buy or tons of things to pay) insisted to get ready for goodbyes...
Wait! Let me take the part where i had no money back. NO MONEY NOT FUNNY.
Okay I'm cool. Now, about all these tension and pressure and emotion and whatever the situation is, i had no idea how i stayed calm. Okay, not calm. Okay not calm at all. But i wasn't mad at anything now! Hoooooowwwwww is that possible?
Sometimes, I'm mad at myself 'cause i couldn't stay mad, no matter how hard i try. I just got stressed, and then I'd hide somewhere, and then cursed everything that's happening at the moment. Especially society.
And then what? And then I'll be like:
Hahah I really like that pic........... but no that's not what i did.
(In some parts yeah...)
But no that's not what i did.
I just, didn't know what I was mad at, and everything seems to get back to normal. And that was frustrating!! You HAVE to know, it's frustrating. I knew i was mad, and i was like, making a revenge scenario but then no... revenge would've done nothing.
HOW COULD I HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT?
Oh i don't know maybe an angel came and said, "hey you're missing the point."
Oh i don't know maybe an angel came and said, "hey you're missing the point."
Well, I'm good that i knew my negative turned into positive and i knew i shouldn't make anything worse. But everything's creeping me out man! Those 9 grades at school, the pile of books for the final exam, and the days counting down to where i must leave my class...
It was a very bad class with horrible classmates and a totally lonely seat where i sit with no one...
And i was very thankful of it! Now i know it was a very great class with awesome classmates and a totally nice seat where i change deskmates everyday...
The point is, i don't wanna start all over again. The entire year of grade 8 had thought me a lot. Responsibility, trust, emotion-handling, how to be independent on sudden situations, money & time arrangements, caring after siblings, targeting things and work hard for it...
And now I'm 14. Am I ready for the last grade on junior high school?
I am.
Well, I have to, don't I?